The Baby Jesus

I was talking to my daughter, as we like to do at the dinner table. Mind you she is only 9-months, so the conversations are pretty one-sided at this time. But sometimes she looks at me and makes sounds her baby language. Today’s conversation centered around the Christmas story. As a new dad celebrating Christmas with his daughter for the first time, I wondered what she thought about the Baby Jesus.

She is so close to walking on her own now, and determined to figure out how to get moving and on her own. She has places to go and especially people to see. I asked her when she thought Jesus took his first steps. We wondered together if Mary had a book like Ellie’s mommy has to keep track of all of Jesus’ firsts.

When did Jesus get his first tooth?

When did Jesus begin to sit up?

When did Jesus start crawling?

What was Jesus first word?

We took the conversation a bit further too as Ellie does a compromised version of Elimination Communication (or click here). We look for her cues and then take her to go poopy. I asked my daughter if she thought Jesus gave the perfect cues to Mary to let her know when he needed to go.

We were blown away just thinking about how the Son of God, the almighty who was here at the beginning of the universe playing a role in creation also sat on the floor and played like our daughter does. The king of the universe allowed himself to go through all the same processes as any other baby. Talking with my daughter about Christmas helped me get a new perspective of Jesus’ humanity.

How does thinking of Jesus as a baby change how you picture him?

 

Family…A Universal Language

We observed something that blew us away in its simplicity and innocence while sitting in the terminal waiting for our flight from Phuket to Bangkok. We had just spent a few days in Phuket for family time with Christina’s parents and visiting future church planters who moved to the island a few months ago.

As we sat down with our bags, a few guys next to us wanted to take some pictures of our daughter. Our smiley, little, 9-month-old  girl often grabs the attention of strangers wherever we go. This time, she caught their attention and broke the ice for us to talk together. We learned that the three men were on business from Iran and began talking with them until we boarded the plane. Just before boarding, they left to check something. When they came back for their bags, they went out of their way to say goodbye. We commented among ourselves of their graciousness.

Meanwhile, our daughter became bored with the adult talk. She began crawling and looking for new friends to make. She is such an outgoing, people person at this little age. First, she found a Thai woman to talk with, thinking she knows Thai people are friendly. Sadly, the woman was busy on a phone call and missed a chance to play with her.

Next, she spied out a one-year-old Russian boy and crawled to him. Despite the boy’s shyness, his mom helped them play together. Before you knew it she was chasing him around as he kept walking away shy. In two shakes of a rabbit’s tail, the boy’s brother and father joined the commotion in the middle of the waiting area as an eclectic group of tourists waited to head home from a vacation paradise.

As we boarded the plane, we couldn’t help but think how the walls of culture are so easily broken down by the innocence of family. Family is the international language that draws us all together. Everyone has family and understands the love of parents to their children and vice versa.

In an increasingly globalized world, how do children play a role at bringing us together?

 

Thanksgiving

As I think about Thanksgiving, I think about unexpected blessings…and want to pause a moment and think about our unexpected blessings. For us the unexpected blessing keeps reminding us she is there. Our daughter, Eliana has a zest for life and loves being around people. She will make sure you know she is around if you ever visit.

We cannot stop enough to thank God for his blessing of our daughter. We love her so much. After trying to have children for a long time, we thought there was not going to be an easy solution. We visited doctors and knew our option, but weren’t ready to do that yet, if at all. Our time for furlough was coming which meant a lot of travel and busy scheduling, so we decided to put a pin in our discussions on children and not stress about it for a while…until we returned to Bangkok.

Well, just before our return to Bangkok, we unexpectedly discovered that we were pregnant. We barely stopped worrying, and bam God blessed us unexpectedly. That was a year ago, now we have a happy, playful baby. Click here to see Eliana in action.

In this season of Thanksgiving, we want to always remember who we give thanks to, God.

What is one unexpected blessing you received this last year?

 

Gift Giving: A Family Tale

When I was thinking about teaching about spiritual gifts, I remembered a hilarious story relating to my wife’s great grandfather. He took gift giving to a whole new level. When the time to exchange Christmas gifts rolled around, he made sure all of his presents were wrapped nice. He picked out each present for those in his family with the utmost care and concern for them. However, he did one thing almost anyone else would never think to do. He took off the price tags as typically is done but added a little twist. He pulled out his own price tags and replaced the former price tag with a new more expensive tag. When everyone opened their present, they were shocked at how much was spent on them…or at least they pretended to be shocked as everyone knew that this was happening.

 

A Name to Remember

Our daughter has three first names: her full name (Eliana), a nickname (Ellie) and a Thai nickname (Ah-ree-ya). Why does she have a Thai nickname, you might ask. Well sit down and enjoy your chocolate milk as we explain.

Familiarity is the key to a name. I know that celebrities today think a special name equates to a special child. Most famously is Gwyneth Paltrow’s child named Apple, and recently Mariah Carey who said she didn’t want to name her kids something strange, but one of her twins was named Moroccan. Aside from odd celebrities, most of us look for a name that has a sense of familiarity, of normalness.

Yes, Eliana may not be the most familiar name, but since Ellie was born we have heard of a handful of other babies with that name. Our Thai friends have a difficult time with pronouncing Eliana. That is one of the reasons Ellie has a Thai nickname. They have a much easier time saying Ellie.

Beyond familiarity with pronunciation in a name, we wanted familiarity in association. People who are not good with remembering names like to associate the name of a new acquaintance with a family member or friend’s name. When we came to Thailand, we had an outrageously difficult time remembering the names of our new Thai friends. These names were “simple” nicknames, usually only 1 syllable long. Thais typically have multiple syllables in their full name, so they pick a nickname to help other Thai people remember their names more easily. Even with this, we still had trouble locking their names away in our memory.

Recently, we were spending time with one of our Thai friends who asked us again, what is Ellie’s name? We answered first with her English name. The confused look on his face told us he was cautious in pronouncing her name. We then added her Thai name. He smiled giving us the sense he could say that name and remember it as he knows others in his world with that name.

When we decided on her Thai name, we kept thinking of names that sounded cute and had a good meaning but couldn’t come to any consensus until a friend helped us with a tip on how Thai’s pick a name. He told us that often a nickname can be picked, because it sounds similar to the real name. Therefore we picked “Ah-ree-ya” which has a similar sound and means gentle.

 

Cheerleading From Heaven

I want to conclude my reflections on losing my mom with some thoughts I unpacked in a sermon at my parent’s church the Sunday after she passed. I titled the message, “A Missionary Mom” with the idea that her children were her primary missionary field. As I share her story, I realize how everyone has a story and their story touches the lives of those around them beginning with their family.

I began the message by looking at a passage that gives me comfort and hope as I think about my mom now (Hebrews 12:1-3). My mom has always been my biggest cheerleader, and now I can imagine her among the great number of witnesses cheering us along as we persevere on the track God has laid out for us. In this text we see so much movement including the example of Jesus, and mission encompasses movement more than any other action thought outside of love. Jesus moved to the cross scorning its shame, but we have not enough space to expound on how the idea of shame speaks to the cultures in Asia so much more than we realize in reading it from our American lens of justice and guilt.

As we run the race and live out the journey of mission, we take comfort in the fact that those who have gone before us support us from the spectator seats. They are the proverbial 12^th man as the term from Football goes. Speaking of football, I cannot help but remember how my mom cheered for me so enthusiastically as a tiny 98-pound freshmen who barely could get on the field. Ringing in my head, I hear her yelling, put No. 5 in.

Now, my mom looks down on me and her family cheering us on from heaven.

 

A Missionary Mom

I want to reflect on how my mom touched my life toward mission.

First, she lived out a life of faith and devotion to God. She loved sharing the great missionary stories with us as she encouraged my dad to read stories with us as a family. She shared the detailed stories of her friends that she supported and corresponded with. In fact, when these friends came through the States on furlough, I played with their kids who were near my age. The idea of mission as story and life came to me in a powerful way as a youngster long before God’s call came on my life.

When my wife and I began talking about serving on the mission field, my mom and dad were both very supportive. That gave us comfort as we talked about and made plans to go. It was only after we were in Thailand that we realized how rare it is for parents and family to selflessly say go, we know this is what God is saying to you.

My mom imprinted from the beginning and then released me to go when it was time.

 

“Fre-dumb” or Processing Grief and Moving Forward

My family is still processing the unexpected loss of my mom. I want to share a snippet of how my dad is processing the loss. My parents were married for 40 years, and I see him at times super sad yet holding onto the joy and celebration that this life is not all that we have. He knows my mom is in a much better place, the place she has wanted to be for many, many years…

Yet in all his sadness, he is also looking forward and thinking about his new life.  Even though he would still prefer my mom to be by his side, my dad sat down and wrote out what how bachelorhood will benefit him. He loves playing with words, so this fits him right down to his socks.

My dad calls this his “Fredumb List”…as he explains, I am now free to be dumb in these areas…

• I can snore all night if I want to
• I can put the toilet lid down anytime
• I can wear two different colored socks
• I can wear grey socks with tan pants
• I can make the bed with the quilt pattern crooked
• I can use a single Kleenex for more than one blow
• I can eat the cake and ice cream first
• I can watch sci-fi programs on the TV
• I can drink straight out of the carton
• I can wash my hands in the left hand sink even when there are clean dishes on the right hand drying

When my sister’s heard this list, they responded…dad, you can’t undo all the good that mom did for you…

I am sure they will help keep him dressed properly, but I certainly appreciate someone that can be real and vulnerable with his family and friends as he mourns and holds onto the victory that Jesus has over death knowing he will be reunited with my mom again.

If you were to make a Fredumb List, what would you include?

 

My Mom

As I process grief, I wanted to share some thoughts that I had regarding my mom who passed away recently. A stroke destroyed much of her brain giving her little chance for survival 2 weeks ago Tuesday. From that point to now, my life has felt like a blur and as though I was stuck in time all at once. My thoughts have swirled as I have had tough times eating, sleeping and even thinking…

My mom meeting my daughter

I want the next few posts to share some ideas of hope, celebration and honor to the legacy my mom left to me. Let me start with retelling some of what I briefly shared at the memorial service this week.

I remember when my parents came to visit me at Bible College my freshmen year. After introducing my parents, one of my professors replied that my life was a great commentary on their parenting. I thought wow, but how much can he know me as it was only my freshman year.

In that I see how every life has a story to tell, and every story gets told through the lives of those around that person.

For me one life motto that sticks in my heart from my mom is, “get back on the horse”. My mom exemplified this characteristic and showed me how to literally get back up on the horse after getting thrown off of her horse when I was a young teenager. She also demonstrated for me the ability to get up after life knocks you down. My mom had more than her fair share of life knocking her down. We often don’t understand the Biblical idea of suffering and view it as punishment. My mom suffered and kept going throughout her entire life.

I came into the picture smack dab in the middle of much suffering as I was the fifth child of seven. My older sister died as an infant with a heart defect while my other older sister, Angela, came down with severe brain damage as an infant and lived to be six. She couldn’t do anything on her own, so when I was born my parents rejoiced over everything I did. They imprinted on me how amazing every move I made was. It didn’t matter what…even if I peed on the ceiling as a baby during diaper changing; my mom thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world. I was a great baby in their eyes.

I learned to love life, and at the age of two, as the story goes, I would wake up in the little camper as we I joined my parents on a retreat. I woke up early in the morning (I guess I used to do that back in those days). I would wake up with a big dose of optimism for the day, open the curtains near my bed, look outside to the world before me and enthusiastically say, “Hello, world!”

I loved life and saw my mom bounce back from devastation after devastation over her lifetime. Things seemingly rarely went according to plan, but she always kept pressing forward in her faith and in her life.

So when I was a teenager and began losing my sight, I already learned that obstacles get overcome. Life’s problems don’t keep us down, but we get up and keep riding that horse. My brother who went through similar trials in losing his sight gave me a practical example for this obstacle, but my mom imprinted on my life the attitude to overcome anything.

My mom was an incredibly Godly woman who will be greatly missed.