“Fre-dumb” or Processing Grief and Moving Forward

My family is still processing the unexpected loss of my mom. I want to share a snippet of how my dad is processing the loss. My parents were married for 40 years, and I see him at times super sad yet holding onto the joy and celebration that this life is not all that we have. He knows my mom is in a much better place, the place she has wanted to be for many, many years…

Yet in all his sadness, he is also looking forward and thinking about his new life.  Even though he would still prefer my mom to be by his side, my dad sat down and wrote out what how bachelorhood will benefit him. He loves playing with words, so this fits him right down to his socks.

My dad calls this his “Fredumb List”…as he explains, I am now free to be dumb in these areas…

• I can snore all night if I want to
• I can put the toilet lid down anytime
• I can wear two different colored socks
• I can wear grey socks with tan pants
• I can make the bed with the quilt pattern crooked
• I can use a single Kleenex for more than one blow
• I can eat the cake and ice cream first
• I can watch sci-fi programs on the TV
• I can drink straight out of the carton
• I can wash my hands in the left hand sink even when there are clean dishes on the right hand drying

When my sister’s heard this list, they responded…dad, you can’t undo all the good that mom did for you…

I am sure they will help keep him dressed properly, but I certainly appreciate someone that can be real and vulnerable with his family and friends as he mourns and holds onto the victory that Jesus has over death knowing he will be reunited with my mom again.

If you were to make a Fredumb List, what would you include?